Mark and Jennifer Leeds always wanted a big family. Both grew up with three siblings each and wanted the same dynamics in their own home. After four miscarriages, they were understandably devastated by their losses. // Relying on God through the loss of each baby, they believed He must have a greater plan than they could conceive on their own. While they have experienced much grief since 2000 when they first started trying to have children, they cannot imagine how life could be any better than it is now.

Mark, who is assistant professor of systematic theology and registrar at Southwestern, and Jennifer believe God used this time to grow them spiritually. “Instead of relying on what we knew, we had to step out on faith,” Dr. Leeds says. “Yes, it was hard, but in retrospect, I can see now that this time in my life is one of the clearest examples of how God really does cause all things to work together for good.” Trusting Romans 8:28 transformed their heartache into hope.

The Leedses sought the wisdom from fellow faculty member John Mark Yeats and his wife, Angie. The Yeatses were excited to help and invited the Leedses into their home.

They were encouraged by what they learned through their conversation. While they always felt God had called them to be parents, they were now armed with the reality that there are thousands of children within the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex waiting for a loving family. They were also able to experience firsthand how adoptive families interact in the home.

After searching for an adoption agency, they found Arrow Child and Family Ministries. Arrow offers many programs to hopeful parents including foster care, foster-to-adopt, and straight adopt options. The Leedses decided on straight adoption. “After the miscarriages, we didn’t want to take a chance on losing them. We wanted to invest in children, knowing they were our kids,” Jennifer explains. 

The Leedses began a process of routine screenings and background checks. They began training to prepare themselves for the issues their adopted children might face, such as dealing with previous forms of abuse, current physical limitations, and behavior problems. They were also trained in CPR and first aid.

After completing their training seminars and paperwork, an agent came to spend an entire day at their house to complete a home study, a report consisting of the adopting parents as individuals, as a couple, and how conducive their home is for children.

“That’s another place faith comes in,” Jennifer observes. “You have to know God is in control … to rely on someone else’s objective opinion of you and your home in a day’s time to decide whether or not you are granted permission to adopt.”

Their opportunity finally came. The CPS (Child Protective Services) caseworker moved slowly, but the end result was worth the wait.

“We finally had a sleepover at our house after several weeks. While many parents have one or two visits with the children and then get them, because of the initial issue with the family that perhaps moved too quickly, it took over a month for them to come and stay with us permanently,” Dr. Leeds shares.

Seven-year-old Amber, five-year-old Jason, and three-year-old Jacob moved into the Leedses’ home in October 2008. Jason and Jacob are brothers, and Amber is their half-sister.

Adoption is not always easy, but the physical and emotional cost helps the Leedses relate more to what it cost God in adopting us as sons. Jennifer laughs as she explains that they still have moments where their children will test everything they do. They would get out of bed 25 to 30 times a night during the first few weeks, and Dr. Leeds and Jennifer would patiently take them back to their rooms. They would also throw tantrums and break house rules.

Similar to immature believers who test God, children often do the same thing. “They are constantly testing you in every way they can,” Dr. Leeds says. “Our children often tested us, wondering ‘What’s Daddy going to do if I do this? And what’s Mommy going to do if I do the exact same thing?’ Just like all parents, you need to be consistent between one another as far as what you discipline your children for and what consequences you give to certain behaviors.”

The Leedses modeled the balance of God’s love and God’s holiness by providing unwavering boundaries, rewards, and consequences. To make it easier for the children to remember, they set three short rules based on Scripture. From Ephesians 6:1, the children learned, “Obey your parents.” From Matthew 22:39, they memorized, “Love your neighbor.” From Romans 9:1, they learned to “speak the truth.”

As with our spiritual growth, the children have moved beyond those early difficult weeks. Both parents cannot express the joy that stems from watching the spiritual development in their children.

Before they were adopted, the children did not even know the real meaning of Christmas. Now, they are able to quote some Scripture from memory, and they recognize when they do something wrong.  Dr. Leeds and Jennifer are praying for their children to make public professions of faith. They are encouraged as they begin to detect specific spiritual sensitivities each child possesses.

The Leedses feel that adoption is biblical. “We are called by God to adopt in that we are supposed to take care of the orphans,” Jennifer says. “It’s a ministry. You have the opportunity to take these kids and help grow them into a loving relationship with Christ that they may not get otherwise. It’s a big opportunity.”

Despite the challenges associated with adoption, the Leedses believe the chance to help children experience a Christian home is worth the risk. “There aren’t too many things that you do as a believer that don’t involve risk,” Dr. Leeds says.

However, rather than risk, adoption’s focus should be redemption. Every Christian has been adopted by the Father, and the price He paid was greater than anyone could imagine. For both the parents and the children, adoption provides an atmosphere for life change and spiritual growth.

To see more pictures of the Leeds family and learn more about Southwestern News click here

 

Michelle Myers Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary