Stephen and Jandy Brentlinger, Arrow foster parents with our Beaumont, Texas office, are very committed to their faith. They are just as committed to the foster children who come into their home. So when Stephen saw our recent Facebook post showing the great need for more foster families, he was compelled to write his own Facebook post to encourage others to consider fostering.
Below is Stephen’s impassioned post…

Fostering can be hard. It can be an emotional roller coaster. It’s a family decision that affects everyone in your household. It can test your patience, love, kindness, faith, and many other things. Sometimes it seems like it might even be too much to handle. People will comment that they don’t know how you could do it, or ask how you could love a child then watch them leave your home. There are days when you might even consider quitting and running away. We have.

But then you realize that everything is totally worth it. You realize that all the risk, all the heartache, all the tears, and all the possible pain are totally worth it. Why? Because it’s never about us in the first place. Our life should be about loving and serving others, and considering everyone else higher than ourselves. Our call to foster is about loving kids that are in desperate situations that they had no control over. It’s about putting the well-being of a child far above yours. It’s about extending love and grace to someone that desperately needs it, but is hopeless to receive it apart from you. Literally, you can affect a child’s life forever. Even if they leave your home, by your plan or the states plan.

You can’t know how it will turn out, and sometimes you won’t be happy with situations. But you CAN be love and grace to a child that so desperately wants to be loved. So desperately wants to be held, fed, and cared for. A child that was not loved enough to know how special and wonderful they are. The fear of the unknown could stop you in your tracks and keep you from fostering. Or maybe, your love for others could compel you to becoming a foster parent. You could realize that literally everyday children need foster homes, and you could stand up for the hopeless and needy, and love them with all your heart! Love them how they deserve to be loved, even if it hurts later. But you know what? They also could end up being your forever child! The only way to find out, is to foster. I beg you, think and pray about fostering.

If you’re still reading this, I’ll share in a couple of sentences how we handle fostering. To sum it up, we don’t handle it. Yep, we are selfish and not capable of handling it personally. We instinctively run from tough situations. But the good news for (my foster child), is that we serve and love a God that provides all we need. We serve a God that is much bigger than anything in the world, and can provide peace, patience, strength, energy, love, and everything else needed to foster. In short for us, God gives us the strength.

I once was lost, hopeless, and in desperate need of help. I was longing to be loved and cared for in ways I didn’t even understand. I had emptiness in my life and needed to be cared for in a way that I didn’t even know how to ask about. Then God ran. He ran to me in that moment and showed me the love, grace, and mercy I so desperately needed! When I was lost, God found me. I was empty, but God filled me. I didn’t even know what I needed, but God did. Fostering/Adoption is a perfect picture of what God has done for us.

Please call/message me if you want to talk about fostering or anything.

Would you consider fostering?

Beautifully said Stephen. Thank you Stephen and Jandy, for your caring hearts and your unselfish service to kids in need!

For information on the next information meeting in your area visit www.arrow.org/meeting

 

Jennie Sulfridge knows how difficult the holiday season can be for foster parents and their children.

Christmas parties, traveling to see relatives, shopping outings to crowded stores and more add up to one long, stressful month. As a veteran foster parent with four adoptive daughters of her own, Jennie wanted to give advice to foster parents struggling through the holidays, and reassure them that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

She recently orchestrated a foster parent lunch at the Arrow Headquarters in Spring. Jennie not only offered her time, but she and her daughters also provided appetizers and desserts, and even made decorations and centerpieces for the occasion. Jennie and her oldest daughter, Hannah, gave advice and answered questions for a room of about 50 foster parents.

One key piece of advice was for parents to make time for their children during the holiday season. Hannah called time the greatest gift a foster parent can give to their child, and Jennie agreed.

“Their lives haven’t ever been put first,” Jennie said. “Your time is your most valuable resource for them, so even when you don’t feel like it, it’s important to invest time in your kids.”

To make sure they made time for each other during the busy holiday season, Jennie made a special Advent calendar for herself and the girls. The calendar specified a new family activity to do together for each day leading up to Christmas, such as going ice skating, or looking at Christmas lights.

Jennie also urged parents to schedule time for peace and quiet during the holidays, and suggested letting foster children know ahead of time about holiday parties and family gatherings so they feel prepared.

But perhaps the most important piece of advice Jennie gave was to be flexible.

She gave the example of one Easter where her girls were having tantrums and breakdowns, so they didn’t end up celebrating the holiday until the Tuesday afterward.

Hannah urged patience for days when foster children continually misbehave. She said she tested Jennie’s boundaries shortly after she was placed in the home, and Jennie’s patience with her eventually lead to a breakthrough.

“I had a lot of doubts about if I’d actually stay,” she said. “But I remember one week, I was bad seven days in a row, and by day eight mom hadn’t given up on me. I was reassured that I wasn’t going anywhere.”

Instead of getting birthday presents from her friends, Emma Showalter decided to use her ninth birthday as an opportunity to collect books for Arrow foster children.

Emma said she got the idea after seeing the film Annie. The movie sparked a conversation about foster care between Emma and her mom, Jennifer Showalter. After discussing some of the difficulties kids in foster care face, Emma asked her mom “So what do we do? Do we just wish them well and send them on their way?”

That comment lead to a discussion about ways to help children in foster care, and eventually, Emma decided that she would use her upcoming birthday to collect books for Arrow foster kids.

Emma collected more than 100 books for the kids, and made bookmarks. She set up a table at the Spring office’s back to school event, where the kids could come and pick out a book and bookmark of their own.

“I liked giving out the books and bookmarks,” Emma said. “It was fun to see how excited the kids were when they got a book to keep.”

Thanks so much to the Showalter family! Emma’s heart for giving has truly inspired us.

 

 

 

 

 

When Ken Keung was removed from abuse and neglect and placed in foster care, the love and commitment he received from his Arrow foster family changed his life forever.

His family recognized Ken needed a way to express himself, and had a gift for art, so they gave him a set of oil paints. That gift set Ken on a path of honing his skill, and eventually to studying art in college.

“My foster family loves my paintings, and they encourage me so much,” Ken said. “Right now they own four of my paintings in their house, and I will paint more because I feel like this is my home, and they treat me like a family member.”

The influence Ken’s foster family had on his life was pivotal in his success as an adult. The love and encouragement they showed him helped him find purpose in his life.

Unfortunately, many foster children will not get the same opportunities as Ken. There are 400,000 children in care across the nation, but not enough foster families to take them in. Some may never receive the love and guidance they need and deserve. These children are placed in group homes, or sometimes even end up living in psychiatric hospitals for an extended period of time.

The best environment for foster children is a home with a family, but the reality is some foster children are much less likely to be placed in a home than others due to their race or age. Foster parents who open their homes to children have the option of choosing who they will take into their home. Children under 2 years old who are white are the easiest to place. Unfortunately, African American children and those who are older than 8 years old are the least likely to be matched with a family of their own.

Additionally, many parents want to add to their family through foster-to-adopt, and while this is a wonderful goal, there is a need for foster parents who are willing to take in children who may never become available for adoption. About a third of children in state care have a permanency goal of reunification with their biological parents, and these children need a foster home just as much as those whose permanency goal is adoption. The average length of stay in foster care for these children is just over a year.

There are children entering foster care today that need your spare room for a while. Those children may be a racial minority, or a teenager. They may need to stay for a few months, or a few years. Regardless of race, age or length of stay, they all desperately need a stable home environment where they can feel safe and heal from the trauma that brought them into state care.

Learn what it takes to be a committed foster family by attending and information meeting. Visit www.arrow.org/meeting for the date, time and location of the next info meeting in your area.

Waco TV station KXXV aired a story on the need for more foster parents in the Waco area Wednesday evening, and Denise Mason, an Ambassador Family Specialist in the Waco office, gave an on-air interview.

About 150 more children are in foster care in McLennan County, where Waco is located, than last year. As a result, the need for safe, loving foster families has risen sharply.

We are excited our Waco team raised awareness about the needs of foster children in their community!

You can view the clip here.

When Joe Johnson learned that foster children often move into a new home with nothing but a trash bag full of belongings, he immediately wondered how Patterson Kia of Arlington could help.

On Tuesday, the car dealership found a way. Patterson Kia’s “Drive for Hope” campaign donated 300 backpacks full of supplies to Arrow Child & Family Ministries in Arlington to hand out to area foster children.

“We want to wish these children the best of luck, and we want them to know we love and care about them,” said Johnson, the dealership’s general manager. “We hope these backpacks will help them along their journeys.”

The red and black Adidas backpacks come stuffed with blankets and pillows, pencils, notebook paper, folders and a composition book.

Arrow will hand out backpacks to the current 113 children in foster care and new ones who come into their care through Child Protective Services. Last year, Arrow placed 330 children in foster homes.

“These children have been through so much by the time they are placed in foster care,” said Jacqueline Clark-Winfrey, a family home developer for Arrow. “The backpacks give them a small piece of comfort. Now they have a little something to call their own.”

Tuesday morning, as employees of Patterson Kia hauled boxes of backpacks into Arrow’s office, Johnson said the company is always looking for ways to give back to its community, including the annual coat drive it organizes with the Arlington school district.

“We feel grateful to be able to participate and help out kids and families in the Arlington area,” Johnson said. “We look forward to working with Arrow in the future on any needs it might have.”

Courtesy MyArlingtonTX